I'm Not In A Good Mood

I'm starving but i have no mood to eat. i feel like to watch tv, but i have no mood to do so. I can't stop thinking about that bitch.. Betina gatai.. Benci benci.. Why can't i be the first? Kenapa perlu dia muncul lagi?? Kenapa aku jadi macam ni? kenapa aku dah berubah? kenapa aku tak boleh buang rasa marah and dendam tu? Semakin lama semakin sensitif dan emo. Pantang ada benda salah sikit. How long i have to be like this. I don't even know myself anymore. Like i've being someone else. I wish to take some time to release all this. I wish to fly away from here to other place.

I wish my father was here so that i won't be the way i are right now. i'm confused. I hate myself. I want to forget, but there's something stop me to do that. I want to be like before. But, how can i? I need to stop crying. I'm tired for all of this. Dear Allah, please help me..i'm begging u.. amin